I miss the msn conversations at night. I miss the nudges and pokes. I miss the random topics we chat on. I miss the replies. They are always so re-assuring to me whenever I read them. I always look forward to the nudge the moment I come online. But it's not there now. Why am I feeling so insecure and inconfident these few days? Sigh. I do not wish to lose you. I miss you. Emo.................................................
Things are going tough for me. Work can turn worse any time soon. This year has not been so smooth for me. But I really need to believe in myself. My physical test is coming and I will pass it once and for all, for my rank, for my hard work and for everything I have put in. Be brave! I will have to confront this anyway. How long more can I wait? It has been three years. When is the right time? I am such a noob. Such a noob at expressing myself. Such a noob at asking. Sigh. =(
I think I am so demanding but I really feel lonely at times. Sorry for being harsh on you.
I shall revert back to my not-so-emo side. It's time for soccer tomorrow back in school with the nj khakis! I haven't played with them for quite some time already. Time to exercise more! Haha. Before I end, here's another song to introduce. To listen, please go to haoting.com and search for the song. =)
I need you I need you 别毁灭我的夜晚 灰暗中 泪蔓延得太快 来不及 看不清 黑夜跨越黎明 忘了清醒 忘了继续 也许还会想念 也许还想看见 也许还有感觉 也许还要安慰 也许这一切 该完结 ========================================== That's all for now, hellmos signing off....
Here are the pictures for our golden mile lunch outing! I only took a few pictures. Actually zhiyang helped to take them because my hands were oily and stained after eating the tulang. And since he was not able to be in the pictures, I took another picture of him while we were walking to lavender mrt. Anyway, I was in a hurry after lunch because I had to get home quickly before going out again and the place was further this time round. So I got home, took a quick shower and then prepared all my army stuff in case I was unable to get home in time later. Then I am off to boon lay for ntu open house. This was probably the third ntu open house that I had attended. It looks the same every year. The exhibition was always held at the school of biological sciences. Actually I went there on behalf of my cousin who wanted to study in singapore. Unfortunately she was unable to come on sat, so I made the trip to collect brochures and enquire information for her. Apart from that, I was there to check any new courses available that I missed out during my application last year. Electronic and electrical engineering has this new course called information engineering and media which seemed rather different from the usual course. Anyway my friend happened to be in the pioneer batch of the course, so I went over to chat with her. She was over at the booth to introduce her new course. Her course had some interesting sections and even drawing lessons which I believed my aerospace engineering course would definitely have. I also learnt a few things on electives from her. I did not have much time left, so after a short chat and catching up, I left ntu for my journey back home. I managed to reach home a few minutes before seven. It was time for another quick shower while my mother packed the dinner into a box for me to bring to office since I had no time to take my dinner. And from then onwards, it was night duty for me all the way until eight the next morning. So that was how I only spent around 45 minutes at home. It was a really very very tiring day. I just "concussed" when I came home after duty the next morning and slept straight for more than five hours. Haha. Actually I was quite emo that day. I did not know why but all the negative emotions just swelled up suddenly. However, after the long chat with nik over the msn that day and yesterday, I managed to think through my emotions and discarded all the negative thoughts aside. I guess I should be satisfied how things are and I should wait patiently. Happy happy =)
I had this song in my phone. I always found it very meaningful and soothing. So here it is.
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel
When I see your smile Tears run down my face I can't replace And now that I'm strong I have figured out How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one
I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Seasons are changing and waves are crashing And stars are falling all for us Days grow longer and nights grow shorter I can show you I'll be the one
I will never let you fall (let you fall) I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all) Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart Please don't throw that away Cuz I'm here for you Please don't walk away and Please tell me you'll stay
Use me as you will Pull my strings just for a thrill And I know I'll be okay Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall I'll stand up with you forever I'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heaven
cheeyen
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